I am a retired School Social Worker with a high interest in an Illinois
National Guard program. The Lincoln's ChalleNGe Academy, located
in Rantoul, Illinois, has occupied much of my free time for the past eight
years. I'm convinced this program saves lives, restores damaged young
adults and prepares young citizens to move to higher levels of life.What happens when you throw me into the Lincoln's ChalleNGe pot full of cadets who need a mentor?
This is my story, their story and lots of lessons.
Pens and papers ready? Lets begin.
A good mentor's role is defined by his cadet. The good mentor often must walk with his cadet, struggle with his cadet and, sometimes, share the rewards or pain. Its an active role we play as we travel on the cadet's dirt path to success. The changing process occurs as
the cadet seeks his/her dreams; accepts life's gifts and learns to live
with those emotional shadows from the past. When the cadet quits, the game is over. When the cadet persists, success eventually comes. It's the mentor's job to keep them walking; to do some patching up on occasion; and, to be their light in the night when darkness is all that can be seen.
So, here are a few of the lessons I learned from this most extraordinary mentoring experience.
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David taught me that “stubborn dreamers” win. He’s married and in the Navy. He’s home in California now. He’s a proud daddy.
Justin and Doug taught me that we can't win until we get that impulsive behavior under control. They earned success lots of times and every time,
they threw it away when they yielded to their impulsive behavior.
Doug lost the “love of his life” and spent some time in prison. Justin
lost his military career, his wife and he then he quit trying. Oh
yes, life 's rewards and penalties are real! Larry taught me that we are sometimes the victims of heredity's laws, the universe's schedule, contagious illnesses and random odds. Sometime we are victims and we are forced to leave life's game. I saw a most extraordinary example of this. I walked with Larry as his mental
illness (Schizophrenia) took control. Today he’s a vagrant on
the streets of Asheville, North Carolina.Jeff taught me that you can benefit from “the mercy” of others and, as a consequence, you can walk away free of a failing past. You can win when you accept the forgiveness offered; you admit to your own failures; and, walk away committed to believing in what others see in you.
When I met jeff, he faced a class "X" felony.
When I left Jeff, he was just back from his year in Iraq and working today.
Tom taught me that sometimes damage done in the past can not be changed, healed or erased. I can only see its results. Sometimes, no
matter what I do, I can't change the course of a cadet's life. Tom
is now serving his fourth term in prison and I still believe one day he will
wake up and walk away from this painful life he now lives. Shawn taught me that our community can damage us if we persist in living a “non compliant” life style. He taught me that if you declare war on this society, its agents will crush you…sometimes to death.
He committed suicide at 24 years of age.
Litchfield taught me that if you won’t walk away from alcohol, anger and childhood fears, your life won’t change. A few of those “frozen” people, at their best, will live a life at the edge of failure. Others will tumble off
periodically into prison, drug treatment programs or a caregiver who
offers protection at the price of your free will. Right now, he’s
got his “sugar mama” and hunkered down for the Winter.Robert taught me that grandpa’s are important people too. He taught me that our weak dreams can become our primary life guides. He taught me that childhood trauma can be overcome if we have a few persistent believers in our corner. He taught me what a good friend is all about.
Jimmy taught me that living in the basement isn’t a life. Hiding isn’t fun. Isolation takes us out of life’s game. Withdrawal is safe but safe is lonely.
And, when opportunity knocks, we can walk away into a productive life.
style. He did it.
He got some vocational training
and is now working in Las Vegas.
William taught me that our judgment can hurt others and is often the product of our own pride and self-fulfillment. Professional judgment is often no better than what our neighbors create. How life plays out to each of us is the product of our own will, our persistence, environmental forces and those emotions we hold or release.
Success is not the product of what others predict.
Will graduates from college this year.
And, finally, Joe taught me that sometimes we fall short of our goals. Sometimes we must adjust our vision and and focus on the gains rather than the shortage from our objectives. Joe didn't get his GED while in
The Challenge Program, but, he later completed it when he got home.
Joe didn't get any special awards but he left proud and confident. It
is when we are engaged in life that we learn of our personal skills and
limitations. Our personal measurements should be based on our successes
as they happen, not as we think they should be.____________________
So, those are a few of my learning experiences. Each was priceless. Each tugged at my heart strings. Each has a unique story told in a unique way. Each demonstrates that those early adult experiences are real…this road we walk is real. The rewards and the losses carry a price much greater than any video game. If you think these words are powerful, you should have seen it in color.
There is still a pride I carry from my work. There were weddings in my backyard. There were trips to Missouri and South Carolina for
military basic training graduations. Their were gifts like my coffee
pot, the rocking chair in the living room, an Army sticker
on my car, weekly phone conversations, a Navy “hoody”, and friendships
that will never end.So, I’m here to tell you…I won! I’m a mentor who stayed for the full trip. I’m grateful for this mentor’s road I walked. I understand now why Santa Claus continues his work. It’s the "giver" who is most highly rewarded. And, my greatest reward is the signature I left on the hearts of a few of those cadets who, for a while, struggled again for success.