I am a retired School Social Worker with a high interest in an Illinois National Guard program.  The Lincoln's ChalleNGe Academy, located in Rantoul, Illinois, has occupied much of my free time for the past eight years.   I'm convinced this program saves lives, restores damaged young adults and prepares young citizens to move to higher levels of life.

But, for now, we'll limit this time to taking a look at the lessons I have learned as a mentor.





So, here I am…a retired School Social Worker.
What happens when you throw me into the Lincoln's ChalleNGe pot full of cadets who need a mentor? 
This is my story, their story and lots of lessons.

Pens and papers ready?  Lets begin.

Often a good mentor walks with his cadet, struggles with his cadet and sometimes shares the rewards or pain.  Its an active role we play as we travel on the cadet’s dirt path to success.  The changing process occurs as the cadet seeks his/her dreams; accepts life's gifts and learns to live with those emotional shadows from the past. 

When the cadet quits, the game is over.  When the cadet persists, success eventually comes.  It was my job to keep them walking; to do some patching up on occasion; and, to be their light in the night when darkness was all that could be seen. 

So, here are a few of the lessons I learned from this most extraordinary mentoring experience.
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David taught me that “stubborn dreamers” win.  He’s married and in the Navy.  He’s home in California now.  He’s a proud daddy.

Justin and Doug taught me that we can’t win until we get that impulsive behavior under control.  They earned success lots of times and every time, they threw it away when they yielded to their impulsive behavior.  Doug lost the “love of his life” and spent some time in prison.  Justin lost his military career, his wife and he then he quit trying. 

Larry taught me that we are sometimes the victims of heredity's laws, the universe’s schedule, contagious illnesses and random odds.  Sometime we are victims and we are forced to leave life’s game.  I saw a most extraordinary example of this.  I walked with Larry as his mental illness (Schizophrenia) took control.  Today he’s a vagrant on the streets of Asheville, North Carolina.

Jeff taught me that when you learn from “the mercy” of others, you can walk away free of a failing past.  You can win when you accept the forgiveness offered; you admit to your own failures; and, walk away committed to believing in what others see in you.  Jeff’s back from his year in Iraq and working today.

Shawn taught me that our community can damage us if we persist in living a “non compliant” life style.  He taught me that if you declare war on this society, its agents will crush you…sometimes to death.  He committed suicide at 24 years of age.

Litchfield taught me that if you won’t walk away from alcohol, anger and childhood fears, your life won’t change.  A few of those “frozen” people, at their best, will live a life at the edge of failure.  Others will tumble off periodically into prison, drug treatment programs or a caregiver who offers protection at the price of his free will.  Right now, he’s got his “sugar mama” and hunkered-down for the Winter.

Robert taught me that grandpa’s are important people too.   He taught me that our weak dreams can become our primary life guides.  He taught me that childhood trauma can be overcome if we have a few persistent believers in our corner.  He taught me what a good friend is all about.

  Jimmy taught me that living in the basement isn’t a life. Hiding isn’t fun.  Isolation takes us out of life’s game. Withdrawal is safe but safe is lonely And, when opportunity knocks, we can walk away into a productive life style.  He did it and is working in Las Vegas.

William taught me that our judgment can hurt others and is often the product of our own pride and self-fulfillment.  Professional judgment is often no better than what our neighbors create.  How life plays out to each of us is the product of our own will, the environmental forces and those emotions we hold or release.  It is not the product of what others predict.  Will graduates from college this year.

And, finally, Joe taught me that sometimes we fall short of our goals. Sometimes we must adjust our vision and and focus on the gains rather than the shortage from our objectives.  Jerry didn't get his GED while in The Challenge Program, but, he later completed it when he got home.   Jerry didn't get any special awards but he left proud and confident.  It is when we are engaged in life that learn of our personal skills and limitations.  Our personal measurements should be based on our successes as they happen, not as we think they should be.
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So, those are a few of my learning experiences.  Each was priceless.  Each tugged at my heart strings.  Each has a unique story told in a unique way.  Each demonstrates that those early adult experiences are real…this road we walk is real.  The rewards and the losses carry a price much greater than any video game.  If you think these words are powerful, you should have seen it in color. 

There is still a pride I carry from my work.  There were weddings in my backyard.  There were trips to Missouri and South Carolina for military basic training graduations.  Their were gifts like my coffee pot, the rocking chair in the living room, an Army sticker on my car, weekly phone conversations, a Navy “hoody”, and friendships that will never end.

So, I’m here to tell you…I won!  I’m a mentor who stayed for the full trip.  I’m grateful for this mentor’s road I walked.  I understand now why Santa Claus continues his work.  It’s the gift we give that is our reward.  And, as a mentor, I have left my signature on the hearts of a few of those cadets who struggled for success.

(If you want more information about The Lincoln's ChalleNGe Academy,
 just list the name in any internet search engine)

Brad Engert