It was during last summer when The Ol' Sage's
cat was killed by a car. His dog was overcome with the summer heat. He
found himself petless! It was during that dark, bleak time in his life,
he took in a new house guest....Thom. His new handicapped pet was named
by his mother, Carin (who was also "slow"...what we call TMH).
Potty training was a struggle but was successfully
achieved with the new 90's invention....the electric diaper. A painful learning
tool! It's been six months now. The Sage is attached to his new house guest.
Speech is now developing....although a little garbled. Thom can already
say..."Vegetarian". And, understandably, that's one of his favorite words.
He's been saying it more this past week...louder and louder.
It's quite a sight. The Sage walking down the
Lincoln Trail with that gobbling companion following behind....attacked by
dogs, cats and exotic pets. Persistently at the Sage's heals, he chatters
all the way down the trail when not defending his right to the road! And
when he says his name, he really says Thom...not Tom. The only time he stays
at home is during the Heartland down-pours....when the danger of drowning
outweighs the joy of the Sage's company.
It was yesterday when the Sage came by with Thom.
The Sage's visit was prompted by Thom. We sat on the front porch. I, personally,
didn't believe in the electric diaper. Thom sat on the Sage's lap. Head
held high and proud. With a little coaxing, Thom gave me his message. It
was "Vegetarian"! It's the 90's, so Thom's approach to the problem of "Turkey
Eaters" was to appeal to the citizens sympathy for the mentally challenged.
Thom asks all of you who have a Turkey....to wrap it back up, get a shovel
and head on out to the front yard. Bury the bird...uncooked. Make a cross....maybe
of two spatulas tied together with cat gut! Thom figures if enough folks
have a dug-up front yard with a "kitchen" cross.....it will draw that public
attention the problem deserves.
As he talked his garbled gobble, a great black
cloud approached from the West. Stark terror flashed across his comb when
he saw the cloud. He nudged the Sage with his spurs...ever so inappropriately.
No time to waste. Thom wanted home right away. Thom knew about rain drops.
He had lost a few of his closest relatives to this dreaded villain of the
Turkey. He recalled his golfing lesson slogan...."Keep your head down!".
But, like so many golfers, he couldn't resist the temptation...he kept his
eyes where the action was. Alas...the TMH attitude always won....like the
golfer, he couldn't resist.
The Sage jumped to his feet as a bolt of lightening
struck nearby. He grabbed up Thom covering him with his shirt. "Got to
run", he cried. Thom got the last word, however, as he stuck his head out
the Sage's collar...."Ask your friends to bury that Turkey, eat celery and
onions.....and, have a "Happy Thanksgiving".
That's it. Thom will be appearing before two
Senate committees next week to "sell his case"....unless we get another down-pour.
He's counting on your support. He wants a lot of dug up front lawns. He's
hoping for lots of Thanksgiving tables full of onions, celery, and bread....as
he put it (his sound bite), "Thanksgiving...A Vegetarian's Holiday".
We're hoping for your support. And, we hope
your Thanksgiving will be great. Meatless...but great!
Lets return home before the storm
hits!
I
realize you may think I made up this story...that's why I have proof! Click
these words to hear an actual tape recording of Thom!
